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JOKES PAGE 7
Hope you still remember the songs!!!!
Hits of the 60s
It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60s are revising their hits with new
lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:
Herman's Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
The Bee Gees -- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
Ringo Starr -- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
Roberta Flack --The First Time Ever I Forgot Yo ur Face
Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Marvin Gaye -- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts
Leo Sayer -- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations -- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
Abba -- Denture Queen
Tony Orlando -- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy -- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Willie Nelson -- On the Commode Again
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come through your door!
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No fun like Refund click link
SOME ROAD IN JAMAICA
A taxi-driver gets pulled over by the police:
Police: "Which way yu waan guh wid dis ?.... LEFT or RIGHT?" He prompted
Driver: "weh yu mean by dat boss?"
Police: "Go over dere and ask dat man wha dat mean".
So the taxi-driver goes over to the other policeman and asks him what it means.
Police: "The man mean yu a guh either LEF him a money or him a guh WRITE
yu a ticket.
Mek up yu mind
LEFT or RIGHT."
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How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Marian $hih
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear Marian
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
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An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her
company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and sear ched.
None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As
she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
He whispered, "I'M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME WITH. YOU
WON'T EVER BE SORRY."
The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So,
she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside
her.
As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her " KISS
ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY."
So the old lady figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young,
handsome prince.
THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLD LADY'S KISS.
SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS.
NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?
COME ON GUESS!
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON -- DON'T BE A POOP!
SHE TURNED INTO THE
FIRST HOLIDAY INN SHE COULD FIND!!!
She's old.......NOT DEAD !!!!!
OLD LADIES ROCK
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A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship,
back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church."
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Will You Be Mine You're the ackee in my saltfish the Condensed milk in my tea
The patty in my coco bread Without you there is no me.
Just like coconut water You're good for my heart And Mr.Wray without his nephews
like when we are apart.
When you wrap your arms around me
Like banana leaf on blue draws
There is nothing I wouldn't do for you You know that I'm all yours.
I want to be with you always Like when tin milk get short
An dem marry it to de mackerel to make sure de mackerel get bought.
Like carrot juice on Sunday Mango in the summertime
I can't get enough of you Please tell me you will be mine.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A Rastaman went to visit an old family friend. The Rastaman knock pon di door and smaddy inside seh:
" a who dat?"
The rastaman said: " It is I and I, Jah Rastafari, Kings of kings, Lord of lords, conquering lion
of the tribe of Judah, son of Haile Selassie I".
The person inside replied: " A me one deh yah and mi nah open mi door fi so much a oonu".
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Mix Up! Lecturer: Use the words: 'defence','defeat' and 'detail' to make a complete sentence.
JA Student: Di dawg jump over de fence and de feet went before de tail.
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TEN THINGS YOU WILL NEVER
HEAR A JAMAICAN MAN SAY!
1."No wifey, tek my car instead."
2."Waiter, this steak is overcooked."
3."She 'ave a nice body........but 'ar bottom too big."
4."Wha'apen Mr.Deejay, you cyaah play some calypso?"
5."Di pill doan gree wid mi wife so ah go get a vasectomy."
6."No sweetie, ah cyaah tek anodda whites(rum), mi haffi drive all de way to Kingston and it dark and wet outside."
7."Some ah mi closest friend dem gay."
8."Yeah mi eat under 2 foot table."
9."Nuff Respect to Brian Lara.
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"ONLY IN JAMAICA Citizens have to protect police from gunman.
You will have police cars parked at rum bars. And there is a rum bar at most police station
Girls fat up themselves with fowl pill and bleach out them skin with toothpaste. Country people a carry water and wood pon dem head and
cell phone and ipod pon dem waist.
The more mess politician mek is the more pay dem get.
You have bicycle-by shootings.
Police go to arrest tief and don't have a handcuff.
It's the greatest tourist attraction: RENT A DREAD!
Traffic is so bad dat you reach work quicker walking than driving.
Firefighter reach di fire scene and have no water to out the fire.
You know you are in Jamaica when you have a pothole so big when you drop in, you caan come out.
Nowhere else in the world could you go and find such peace and contentment
wid so much madness and confusion at the same time.
JAMAICA, JAMAICA, JAMAICA LAND WE LOVE!!!!!!!
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Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration: 
Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.
Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls.
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Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new
baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely
Caucasian, white baby boy. Congratulations," says the nurse to
the new parents.
"Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,
Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him
WAIT FOR IT .
. . . . . . Sum Ting Wong
_______________________________________________________________________________
JAMAICANS LOVE TO TALK!!
You see how Jamaicans can chat? That's how them mouth always put them in
trouble.
Three death row inmates-an American, a Japanese and a Jamaican-were about to
be sent to the electric chair.
The American got strapped in and was asked if he had any last words. He said
"No"; they pressed the button-nothing happened, so he was set free (Apparently
if the state tries to execute someone and "has technical difficulties" during
the process and it doesn't happen, The person is set free).
The Japanese got strapped in and was asked if he had any last words. He said
"No" they pressed the button-nothing happened, so he was set free.
The Jamaican got strapped in and was asked if he had any last words. He said
"Yah man, you don't see the ting no plug in!
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Weird Facts
Two guys from Daniels County are quietly sitting in
a boat at Fort Peck , Montana fishing and sucking down
beer when suddenly Mel says,
"I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me
in over 2 months."
Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it
over - women like that are hard to find."
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To counter the above joke here's the female response
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
(And they say blondes are dumb..)
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A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you
the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"That I must have married you for your money," she replied.
--------------------------------------------------------
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea...
you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!!!
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with
her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
-------------------------------------
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
--------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
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Subject: Priceless
THESE ARE SO FUNNY
These are from a book called Disorder in the
American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for
word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of
staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of
the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example
of something you
forgot?
______________________________
>>
>
> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with
you?
> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't
remember which.
> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
> ______________________________
>
> >
>
> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
said to you that
> morning?
> WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
> WITNESS: My name is Susan.
> ______________________________
> >
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever
been involved in
> voodoo?
> WITNESS: We both do.
> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
> > WITNESS: We do.
> ATTORNEY: You do?
> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> ______________________________
> >
>
>
> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his
>sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> ______________________________
>
>
> >
> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old,
how old is he?
> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
> ______________________________
>
>
>
> > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
> ______________________________
>
>
> >
> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby)
was August 8th?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> > WITNESS: Uh....
> ______________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> WITNESS: None.
> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> ______________________________
>
>
>
> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> WITNESS: By death.
> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> ______________________________
>
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________
>
>
>
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to
work.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have
you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go
to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined
the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
> ______________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine
sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the
autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk
in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been
alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have
been alive and practicing law.
_______________________________________________________________________________
A pilot/executive decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life ... until
the boat sank! He found himself on an island with no other people, no
supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four
months, he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous
woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks
her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replied, "I
rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise
ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with you." "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the boat out of raw
material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree
branches. I wove the bottom from palm branch and the sides and stern
came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of
the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I
found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the
tools to make the hardware."
The man is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a
few hours of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man
looks to shore, he nearly falls out off the boat. Before him is a
stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and
white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven
hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk
into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it
home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?" "No. No, thank you,"
he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not
coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina
Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and
they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their
stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more
comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a
razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning
anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a
razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground
edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she
greets him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically
positioned, and smelling of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
down next to her! . "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've
been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing
right now, something you've been longing for all these months?" She
stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers... He can't believe
what he's hearing. He swallows excitedly, tears start to form in his
eyes, and he says,"You mean... I can check my e-mail from here?"
_______________________________________________________________________________
Jamaican Breakup Letter
A Jamaican Marine stationed in Iraq recently
eceived a "break up" letter from his Jamaican girlfriend back in
Kingston. It read as follows:
Dear Leroy,
I caant continue dis relationship dred. De distance between us just
too much man. I hav tu admit dat i cheat on yu twice since yu gon,
and it jus not fair tu eeder ah us. i dead sorry. Yu think yu cuud
return de picture of me dat i did send yu wen yu fus go ah iraq?????
Love,Mildred
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow
Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends,
sisters,ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc.
In addition to the picture of Mildred, Leroy included all the other pictures of
the pretty girls he had collected from his buddies. There were 57
photos in that envelope... along with this note:
Dear Mildred,
I man real sorry, but i cant even remember who u is dred. But
please pic out yu picha from dis ya pile and den sen de rest back tu
mi....jus in case dese other gals ask fi dem pichas back tu, seen.
Tanks sweet girl!
_______________________________________________________________________________
Jamaica to assist US w/ War on Terror......
It was announced today that Jamaica is now prepared to help the US in
its war against terrorism.
They have promised to commit 2 of their largest battleships, 6000 armed troops
and 60 fighter jets.
However, after the exchange rate, that comes down to a canoe, two yardie and a
john crow.
_______________________________________________________________________________
How's Your Engrish? Click Here
Mi deh yah ah tink and realize seh Jamaican people dem different yuh
nuh? Mi love dem ... still dere are some tings yuh woulda neva see wi
a do, hear seh wi ah seh or even attempt fi try.
Tek fi instance ...
Yuh eva see Jamaicans a climb no mountain wid flag and claim victory
when dem reach de top?
Yuh eva see we ah hang out inna di miggle ah di Amazon jungle?
Fi wah reason???
Yuh ever see we a jump outta plane wid one parachute or a boast seh we
going bungee jumping next Sunday?
Yuh eva see we inna sea, bout we looking fi di Great White Shark
No sah - wi watch it pon TV
Yuh eva hear a J'can in ah Search & Rescue pan mountain.
A mi sen dem up mountain? Dem find dem bo..%$##as way up, dem fe find
dem way back again. Idiat dem! A nature way fe feed de weak and hungry
animal up deh!
Yuh eva see a Jamaican acting pon big screen going into a haunted
house and asking ... Trevah you in deh?" If him foolish enuf fi go ina di
haunted house him an di duppy dem can tan in deh.
Yuh eva hear a Jamaican man seh ... "no honey ... no need to cook rice
and peas wid oxtail and a little chicken pon a Sunday ... mek wi eat a
light salad instead." Try yuh best ... not pon yu life.
Yuh eva si a Jamaican come a work an tell everybody dem bizniz ... how
dem neva bade dis mawnin, jus brush teet and wash face.
Yuh eva si a Jamaican wey luv talk over people food ... put dem face
inna it an sey dat looks and smell good? No sah! Dat wi cause fight.
Yuh eva see a Jamaican go inna di company fridge and go tek weh next
person sangwige and nyam it off?
Yuh eva hear Jamaican pickney tell dem madda fi shut up and di Madda
go tek seat inna kitchen, tek out cigarette start smoke and seh she nuh
know wah fi do wid di pickney?
No. One bax crass him face fi sure. An if dem live inna farign dem sen
dem to Jamaica fi di summer and den di odder relatives fix dem bizniz
and dem go back wid mannaz.
Yuh eva see Jamaican tek meat outta fridge and stick it inna oven
widout lickle seasoning?
Yuh eva hear Jamaican inna di werk place ah talk bout how much time
him wife mek him sleep pon di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if she
shut di door she expect him fi kick it open.
Mi neva hear a Jamaican seh dem woulda rather put dem parents inna
retirement home dan mek dem live wid dem. Only those who migrated to
foreign lands will do dem tings.
Yuh eva see Jamaican people a cook and dem stir di pot, taste di food
and put di same spoon right back inna di pot an nuh wash it off???
Yuh eva si a Jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face? Yuh mad?
Yuh eva see yawd ppl have dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem? Or
dawg inna di couch and when dawg get up dem go lay down innna di same
couch inna di same spat? Yuh eva see yawd people kiss dem dawg pon di
mout? Yuh eva hear seh yawd people tek 5 days off from work because
dem puss dead?
Yuh eva hear a Jamaican madda innna a store a tell dem pickney "no
sweetheart, you can't have that, please put it back on the shelf"
Instead, yuh will hear someting like dis ... "lissen yah pickney, mi
nah walk a street an pick up money, put dung di blassted sweetie dem an no
badda mi peace tiday, yuh hear mi"?
Yuh eva see Jamaican do any wuk afta dem get pay pon Friday. All di
manager dem a play domino round a back, not to mention ludo and draft.
We a Jamaican ... ah suh wi d'weet. Wi nuh normal .. wi well different
from all odda peoples! A so di ting set. A so di ting stay.
_______________________________________________________________________________
LIST OF MEDICAL TERMS
Artery : The study of paintings
Bacteria : Back door of the cafeteria
Barium : What u do with dead patients
Bowels : A E I O U
Caesarean Section : A suburb in Rome
Cat scan : A search for kitty
D & C : Where Washington is
Dilate : To live longer
Enema : Not your friend
Fester : Quicker
Genital : Not a Jew
Impotent : Distinguished and well known
Labour pain : Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff : Doctor's walking stick
Morbid : Higher offer
Nitrates : Cheaper than day rates
Out Patient : A person who's fainted
Pelvis : A friend of Elvis
Post Operative : A letter courier
Seizure : The roman Emperor
Terminal illness : when u get sick at the airport
Tumor : Another couple
Urine : The opposite of "you're out"
_______________________________________________________________________________
Subject: Why West Indians can't be terrorists !!!!!
1 We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.
2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us.
3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
5. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
6. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
8. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before.
9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.
AND
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being
taken by one of the hostages!!
_______________________________________________________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People -
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
For instance, Men....
Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack
You can be President
You can never be pregnant
You don’t have to wear underwire bras, girdles, pantyhose, pads,
tampons or HRT patches … EVER!
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
You can wear NO shirt to a water park
Car mechanics tell you the truth
The world is your urinal
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because
this one is just too icky
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay
Wrinkles add character
Wedding dress $5000 - Tux rental-$100
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to the
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
One mood all the time
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
You know stuff about tanks
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
You can open all your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
You almost never have strap problems in public
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
Everything on your face stays its original color
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades - and you look great
with grey hair at any age
You only have to shave your face and neck
You can play with toys all your life
Your belly usually hides your big hips
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 5 minutes flat
No wonder men are happier
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