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_______________________________________________________________________________
EXERCISING FOR PEOPLE OVER 50
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where
you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb
potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight
out from your sides and hold them there as long as
you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then
relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this
position for just a bit longer. After a couple of
weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try
50-lb. potato sacks and then eventually try to get
to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each
hand and hold your arms straight for more than a
full minute. (I'm at this level) After you feel
confident at that level, put a potato in each of the
sacks. :-)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob, age 92, and Henrietta, age 89, are excited about their decision to
get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a
chemist.
Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers "Yes".
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob:" Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundices?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety..... The works!"
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's
Disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob:" You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes. Why do you ask? Is there something I can
help you with?"
Jacob says to the pharmacist:
"We'd like to nominate your store as our Bridal Gift Shop."
----------------------------------------------------------------
A Jamaican country doctor running a clinic in Mocho wanted to take a day
off work to go to Kingston, so he called his dispenser to take over.
'Obediah, Ah have fi go a Kingston today, Ah want you to keep the clinic
open, in case any patients come in. You t'ink you cyan handle it?'
'Yes, sah, yes sah!' answered Obediah, thrilled to be put in charge.
The following day the doctor returned to work. & He asked Obediah,
'So how t'ings went yesterday?'
'I had was to treat t'ree patients,' said Obie proudly.
De fuss one seh 'im have a bad 'eadache, so mi give 'im two Tylenol.
De second one seh him belly a hot him bad, bad, so mi give him some
Maalox.
'Good work, good work,' said the doctor, ' And de t'ird patient?'
'Well, sah, suddenly dis ooman bust inna de door. And she tear off all
har clothes dem sah! Me seh, every last piece a de clothes, sah.. An' she
jump up on the examination table, lie down and spread her legs dem. Den
she shout out, 'Help mi! Fi five years now mi never see any man!''
'Lawd, god man.' exclaimed the doctor, 'Is weh you do?'
'Mi put two drop a Murine inna her eye dem.' replied Obie proudly.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me.......
DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see
it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
_________________________________________________________________
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine,
took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor
could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes..
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that
there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
a Tube of K-Y jelly; a rubber glove; and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first
exam.
I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the
BEER is for?"
At that Doctor Paul sighed noticeably shaking his head from side to side he wondered over
to the door.
He openED the door and yelled to his nurse.......
"'ELAINE!!!!!!!!!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT"
---------------------------------------------------------
Jamaican Text Messaging
I had to pass this on it is too funny.
1. TWY = Tek Weh Yuself
2. XA = X Amount
3. AO = Alms Ouse
4. BPT = Back Pon Top
5. BOAL = Buss Out A Laff
6. BOABDL = Buss Out A Big Dutty Laff
7. CAS = Crack A Smile
8. DWL = Dead Wid Laff
9. DWLAPUMS = Dead Wid Laff And Peepee Up Mi Self
10. FR = Fi Real
11. KMN = Kiss Mi Neckback
12. KYAWO = Kut Yeye And Wheel Out
13. LIH = Lick Innu Head
14. LM = Likkle More
15. MPD = Mad People Dem
16. MYODB = Mine Yuh Own Dyamn Biznezz
17. NR = Nuff Respect
I read this and I BOABDL
___________________________________________________________________________
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor
section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would
feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said, 'This is for washing our hair.'
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel
sticks in the bag with the beer.
'The curlers are on me.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Men Never Listen
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom,
but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said ' You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons
on the wall.'
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not
to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP,and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water,
gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom
adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies
restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button
which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring
down at him.
'What happened?' he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
'The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your pRIVATES is under your pillow.'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE SOUTH FLORIDA CODE
When giving directions in South Florida, you should always start with the words, Take I-95
If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours
of 6am and 10am and 4pm and 7pm. This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any
rush. No exceptions.
Some roads just stop for no reason and then start again: Congress Avenue< /st1:Street> ,
Lyons Road, Jog Road .
Freeways can only go north and south. Not east and west..
A1A and ALT A1A are the same streets.
Traffic Lights aren't timed and never will be.
We measure the distance you travel in time not miles.
If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in South Florida without seeing an orange
Bob's Barricade, you're lost!
If you miss your exit on I-95, its perfectly acceptable to back up.
Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection. Eight more go
through on yellow and 4 on red.
Know the difference between Sun Pass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel and Sun Trust..
Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business casual.
Your blinker means nothing.
English is our second language.
It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.
It is totally acceptable to be living in South Florida but not root for The Dolphins,
The Marlins, The Heat or The Panthers.
We have alligators here in South Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't be stupid and
try to feed or pet one.
Clematis is a street not a disease.
When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advanced warning and you are
told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last
minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, beer
and potato chips.
You know how to spell Okeechobee.
Do NOT buy a boat. Make friends with someone who already owns a boat. That way you
don't have to deal with the headaches.
There is an Okeechobee blvd, street, avenue, town, lake and county.
You weren't born here. If you were, you're angry that everyone else moved here.
There's always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on almost every corner - with more
being built every day.
When picking up a woman on South Beach always look for an Adams apple.
It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.
Jupiter is a city, not a planet.
Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays. Not weeknights or weekends - that's
for the working folks.
There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, flipper, and also one called a football team.
You can't say; 'this is how we did it up north', if you think that way, then go back.
No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never be able to figure out your property
taxes.
Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside but inside any restaurant or
business it's 65 degrees.
There are three things you will need to survive a south Florida winter: A long sleeved
T-shirt, sunscreen and restaurant reservations that you make at least three weeks in advance.
The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first one to rat you out if you
are violating water restrictions.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Scenario : Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car
and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and
never sees his truck or gun again.. Counselors called in for traumatized
students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge
them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it..
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for
ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbors's car and his Dad gives
him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college,
and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster
care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she
remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom
has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car
searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario : Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation
is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and
Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given
diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts
them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic
terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed
to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He
is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She
faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things
people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place.
____________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me? Your Honor, I think I need a
different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to
rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start
by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden
telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone
was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could
talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large
Cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a
nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston and New York.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone
With the same '$10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to Canada to see if Canadians
had the same phone.
He arrived in Canada, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden
telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 cents per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. ?'Father, I've traveled all
over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches.
I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.
Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Canada now, son - it's a local call'.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13 . a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
5 2. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
------------------------------------------------------------------
True or not, I find this very funny LOL :-)
This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
rolling after the first paragraph.
It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-
winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard
Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and
down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart
enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be
aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a
little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my
body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband
likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers' monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must
know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense
mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You
surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles
into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's
Anatomy was written by drunken chimps! Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America
is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings
me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of
cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f***ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of
your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it,
James?? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be
anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself
up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy
plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have
to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
CLICK HERE FOR A SOME IRISH JOKES
If you see this lady turning in clockwise you are using your right brain.
If you see it the other way, you are using left brain.
Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way.
See if you can make her go one way and then the other by shifting the brain's current.
BOTH DIRECTIONS CAN BE SEEN.
If you look away, she may switch from one direction to the other.
I found that if I just look at her feet or relax and look at the floor where the reflection shows, she will switch direction!
Experimentation has shown that the two different sides, or hemispheres, of the brain are responsible for different manners of thinking. The following table illustrates the differences between left-brain and right-brain thinking:
Left Brain Right Brain
Logical Random
Sequential Intuitive
Rational Holistic
Analytical Synthesizing
Objective Subj ective
Looks at parts Looks at wholes
Most individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, however, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes. In general, schools tend to favor left-brain modes of thinking, while downplaying the right-brain activities. Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy. Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics, feeling, and creativity.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
You have One Wish
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genies
lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.
The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three
wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope ... due to economic inflation, constant
downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global
competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Wow, lady! These countries
have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but im not THAT good!
I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to
cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along
with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.
That's what I wish for, a good mate."
The Genie let out a long hard sigh and said, "Let me see that map again !"
FOR OLD JOKES CHECK OUT OUR JOKES ARCHIVE - CLICK HERE
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